Thursday, September 16, 2010

Letting Bygones be Bygones

I’ve learned in life that it’s sometimes important to my mental health to let bygones be bygones. There are people from my past who have wronged me, if you will, but I’ve chosen to let go of my grudges for many of them. It’s just not worth the mental stress to hold a grudge for so long. And, as I’ve learned, sometimes people change. They grow up.

I’m the first to admit that I have bad days. I’m also the first to admit that I do like things to happen my way and that I sometimes get testy when they don’t go how I want. And, yes, I’m known to complain, sometimes quite prolifically, if I experience poor customer service. But, despite all of this, I’d like to think that I’m still a pretty decent human being inside. I always try to remember to treat others as I’d want to be treated (no, it doesn’t always happen, but I’m really working on it).

So what prompted this post? Well, lots of things actually, but one in particular has been bugging me for the past several days: I’m an active Facebooker. I enjoy staying in touch with people from my past, especially those from years ago – those I might not otherwise see, such as many of my high school classmates. I like to know what’s happened to people, but not to make fun of them or be rude – I’m happy to see their successes and am sad when they’re hurting. Do I have friends on my Facebook list who haven’t always been terrifically close to me (and even some to whom I’m *still* not close)? Sure – I think everyone does. All of that said…there’s someone on my friends list who friended me, along with several of my high school classmates, but never hesitates to cut down pretty much everyone from high school, although she at least chooses not to slam people by name. We were never close in the past, but I always thought she was nice and I believe I was always kind to her. I can’t say for sure if anyone was ever not nice to her, but that’s the impression I get.

When I first started reading her snarky little posts, it stung. Then, it made me angry. Now, I just kind of feel sorry for her. I’m guessing she’s not had an easy go of things since high school and the best way to make herself feel better is to cut others down. I’m sorry that she’s struggled in life. But, you know what? I think everyone has, at least in some form or another. We’ve all faced frustrations and difficulties and sometimes things aren’t always what they seem. People change. They grow up. If she’d give people a chance, I think she might be pleasantly surprised to learn that people really do care for her. But that’s a decision that she’s going to have to make on her own…a decision that I suspect she’ll never actually make.

I don’t spend my time re-living the so-called glory of my high school years…nor my college years. High school certainly wasn’t the greatest time of my life and I have less than zero desire to go back. However, I still have friends from those years and I fully believe that, 14 years later, it’s time for everyone to let bygones be bygones and to move on with life.

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