It's been 366 days since you left. I was going to write this yesterday, but I had a good day and was filled with happy thoughts and memories of you, so I waited because I knew that I'd be sad if I truly thought about how much I miss you.
I can't believe that it's been 366 days since I last talked to you. I know that probably doesn't really count because you couldn't respond the last time I called, but somehow, in some way, I have to know that you knew it was me on the other end of the phone.
In some ways, the past year has flown by. Like everyone says, the holidays were difficult without you around. This was my first Valentine's Day in years that you didn't send me chocolate...or at least a card. Since I was old enough to remember, we spent Independence Day with you (as long as I wasn't traveling for work, as I've done in recent years). I was in Las Vegas this year for work, but I thought about you -- and had a hard time not crying all day. This was my first birthday without you. Seeing as my birthday's the day after Independence Day, I had a couple of really hard days.
Most days, when I think of you, I smile -- I remember your twinkling blue eyes and booming laugh. I remember how much you loved me. There are days, though, when knowing that I can't pick up the phone and call you breaks my heart.
I miss you so much, Pop. I wonder if you'd like my tattoo that I got in your memory. I wonder if you're proud of me. I wonder if you found amusement in the Exit sign that inadvertently hung above your casket in the funeral home, due to fire martial regulations. (Somehow, I think you might have appreciated the irony.) I wonder if you'd be amused by the fact that I'm seriously thinking about taking a hunter safety course this summer so I can hunt deer with Jason next winter, even though I'm still not sure I want to actually take my own deer. (I have a hunch you'd be tickled.)
Next year, when it's been 730 days, I hope that my memories of you are still as sharp. I hope I can still hear your laugh and see your twinkling eyes. I know that time will dull the pain, but I hope that it doesn't dull my memories of you.
Most of all, Pop, I hope you know how much I still love you.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Giving Thanks
Turkey, sweet potatoes, stuffing, mashed potatoes, cream cheese corn, homemade rolls, gravy, cranberries, pumpkin pie…Thanksgiving just tastes so sweet! I have to admit, though, I’m not particularly excited for Turkey Day this year. So, while I’m not necessarily excited about the holiday yet, I’m determined to get myself in the spirit.
Honestly, I AM looking forward to having a couple of days off, if for no other reason than to relax and spend some time with friends. I’m not going to Kansas this year because I was supposed to work the day after Thanksgiving – and that’s just way too far to drive for a meal. So, I’m staying in Oklahoma and probably will be joining Jason and his family for the day. If that doesn’t work out, I’ll be joining Joel and Mary and their crew for lunch; if that’s the case, I’ll just plan on wearing sweat pants and rolling myself home – and then not eating for about four days after!
Then, you have Black Friday…the shopping day to end all shopping days! I was supposed to work, but I *just* found out that we get the day off this year. Whoo-hoo! I’m going to try to get some shopping done.
After that, the Christmas countdown begins in earnest. And I can happily say that I AM excited about Christmas this year! I’m going back to Kansas for the first time in what seems like forever and will be spending several days with my family and friends. I hope to make a stop in Wichita and see some friends I haven’t seen in a while – especially Roy and Lisa and their adorable kids. I LOVE Christmas and all that goes with it – the cooking, baking, shopping, wrapping, sneaking, surprising, laughter, smiles, good cheer, and more. All in all, I’m looking forward to all of it – including NOT seeing my father.
But, let’s rewind a minute – since I’m having a hard time getting excited about Thanksgiving this year, I decided to start thinking about things for which I’m thankful. So here, in short order, are some of the things for which I’m thankful this year:
My family – They say you can’t pick your family, but if I could, I think I’d keep most of mine (at least the maternal side). I’ll even keep some of the fruits and nuts because they add spice to life.
Jason – I’m pretty much the luckiest girl in the world to have such an awesome boyfriend.
Tess and Tanner – There’s nothing better than a puppy hug at the end of a long day!
My friends – They say you can’t pick your friends…wait, that’s your family that you don’t get to pick. In all seriousness, I’ve got some of the most amazing friends in the world and they really ARE my second family. I wouldn’t trade them for the world.
I’m thankful for so much more, but I don’t want to get sappy here – and I’m definitely not going to be like the person at work who’s most thankful for the fact that “The Sooners suck less than Texas this year.”
Happy Thanksgiving, y’all!
Honestly, I AM looking forward to having a couple of days off, if for no other reason than to relax and spend some time with friends. I’m not going to Kansas this year because I was supposed to work the day after Thanksgiving – and that’s just way too far to drive for a meal. So, I’m staying in Oklahoma and probably will be joining Jason and his family for the day. If that doesn’t work out, I’ll be joining Joel and Mary and their crew for lunch; if that’s the case, I’ll just plan on wearing sweat pants and rolling myself home – and then not eating for about four days after!
Then, you have Black Friday…the shopping day to end all shopping days! I was supposed to work, but I *just* found out that we get the day off this year. Whoo-hoo! I’m going to try to get some shopping done.
After that, the Christmas countdown begins in earnest. And I can happily say that I AM excited about Christmas this year! I’m going back to Kansas for the first time in what seems like forever and will be spending several days with my family and friends. I hope to make a stop in Wichita and see some friends I haven’t seen in a while – especially Roy and Lisa and their adorable kids. I LOVE Christmas and all that goes with it – the cooking, baking, shopping, wrapping, sneaking, surprising, laughter, smiles, good cheer, and more. All in all, I’m looking forward to all of it – including NOT seeing my father.
But, let’s rewind a minute – since I’m having a hard time getting excited about Thanksgiving this year, I decided to start thinking about things for which I’m thankful. So here, in short order, are some of the things for which I’m thankful this year:
My family – They say you can’t pick your family, but if I could, I think I’d keep most of mine (at least the maternal side). I’ll even keep some of the fruits and nuts because they add spice to life.
Jason – I’m pretty much the luckiest girl in the world to have such an awesome boyfriend.
Tess and Tanner – There’s nothing better than a puppy hug at the end of a long day!
My friends – They say you can’t pick your friends…wait, that’s your family that you don’t get to pick. In all seriousness, I’ve got some of the most amazing friends in the world and they really ARE my second family. I wouldn’t trade them for the world.
I’m thankful for so much more, but I don’t want to get sappy here – and I’m definitely not going to be like the person at work who’s most thankful for the fact that “The Sooners suck less than Texas this year.”
Happy Thanksgiving, y’all!
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Bibles and Bras
Ahhh…Oklahoma…land of the hypocrites!
Deeply entrenched in the bible belt, most Oklahomans love their guns and their god, while they loudly and proudly proclaim their distaste for religions other than Christianity, homosexuality, and anyone who dares to be pro-choice.
So yesterday, the announcement was made that the Lingerie Football League was interested in bringing a “team” to Oklahoma City. According to the articles I read, the LFL is comprised of teams of women who wear lingerie (duh) while playing football. A few other major league cities have teams and they believed their next location should be Oklahoma City. It took approximately 3.48 seconds for OKC Mayor Mick Cornett to offer up a resounding “Hell, NO!” to the idea of a Lingerie Football League making its home in our city.
How do we get to the correlation between devout Christians and Mayor Mick’s rejection of the LFL? Well, it’s like this…Mayor Mick’s rejection was met with massive amounts of hostility – people seem to love the idea of the LFL coming to OKC and are enraged that he’s blocking their attempt to develop a local team.
Wait…this is the bible belt, right? If we’re filled with truly devout Christians, then why in the world are we so angry that our mayor doesn’t want to allow in a “team” that focuses on extremely scantily clad women, beer drinking, and other “immoral” ideas – a “team” that is extremely degrading to women? To me, it seems that a true Christian wouldn’t want to see something like the LFL in their state…but, then again, it seems like many Oklahoma Christians are hypocrites – it’s the whole do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do mentality.
While Mayor Mick hasn’t given exact reasons as to why an LFL team wouldn’t be allowed to play at either the Cox Center or the Arena Formerly Known as the Ford Center, there are thought to be several – including the fact that the entire LFL is in a major financial bind and appears to be on the brink of financial disaster. I truly don’t think that he’s trying to infuse morality into our city – if he was, then I doubt he’d be such a huge OKC Thunder supporter, what with their equally scantily-clad Thunder Girls. I believe it’s simply a matter of making a sound business decision.
Deeply entrenched in the bible belt, most Oklahomans love their guns and their god, while they loudly and proudly proclaim their distaste for religions other than Christianity, homosexuality, and anyone who dares to be pro-choice.
So yesterday, the announcement was made that the Lingerie Football League was interested in bringing a “team” to Oklahoma City. According to the articles I read, the LFL is comprised of teams of women who wear lingerie (duh) while playing football. A few other major league cities have teams and they believed their next location should be Oklahoma City. It took approximately 3.48 seconds for OKC Mayor Mick Cornett to offer up a resounding “Hell, NO!” to the idea of a Lingerie Football League making its home in our city.
How do we get to the correlation between devout Christians and Mayor Mick’s rejection of the LFL? Well, it’s like this…Mayor Mick’s rejection was met with massive amounts of hostility – people seem to love the idea of the LFL coming to OKC and are enraged that he’s blocking their attempt to develop a local team.
Wait…this is the bible belt, right? If we’re filled with truly devout Christians, then why in the world are we so angry that our mayor doesn’t want to allow in a “team” that focuses on extremely scantily clad women, beer drinking, and other “immoral” ideas – a “team” that is extremely degrading to women? To me, it seems that a true Christian wouldn’t want to see something like the LFL in their state…but, then again, it seems like many Oklahoma Christians are hypocrites – it’s the whole do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do mentality.
While Mayor Mick hasn’t given exact reasons as to why an LFL team wouldn’t be allowed to play at either the Cox Center or the Arena Formerly Known as the Ford Center, there are thought to be several – including the fact that the entire LFL is in a major financial bind and appears to be on the brink of financial disaster. I truly don’t think that he’s trying to infuse morality into our city – if he was, then I doubt he’d be such a huge OKC Thunder supporter, what with their equally scantily-clad Thunder Girls. I believe it’s simply a matter of making a sound business decision.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Political Vomit
Excuse me while I spew a little political vomit. This is mostly just my stream of thoughts right now, so it might not all pull together well. I think you'll get the idea, though.
Last Tuesday, my state experienced a major change. (Actually, our entire country experienced a major change, but for the sake of this post, I'm simply thinking about my state's change...and that, honestly, is a whole heck of a lot for me to absorb.) For the first time in state history, the majority of all elected State of Oklahoma offices will be held by republicans, come January. And, to be brutally honest, it scares me.
When I moved to Oklahoma more than five years ago, I was excited to learn that I was moving to a primarily democrat-led state. I soon figured out that Oklahoma democrats basically are just democrats in GOP clothing, but there still were a few true democrats out there...a few like me...a few *true* liberals. While those true liberals are few and far between, it's always made me feel at least a little better.
Two years ago, we, as a nation, elected our first democratic president in eight years -- President Obama. We all knew that he was inheriting a huge mess from the previous eight years, but I believe that most of us had great hope that he could get our nation back on track. Fast forward two years and it seems that almost no one is happy with President Obama. He hasn't accomplished as much as I'd hoped, but realistically, I understand that it took us more than two years to get into this mess, so it's going to take a heck of a lot more than two to get us out.
So, last week, due to massive amounts of unhappiness with our nation's administration, people flocked to the polls. Sadly, this unhappiness manifested itself throughout the entire elections -- both locally, on a state level, and nationally.
In Oklahoma, every single elected political administrative office will now be held by republicans. After January, there will scarcely be a democrat to be found in the state capitol, save the few in the House and Senate who managed to be elected. We ousted some perfectly great democratic administrative officials (insurance commissioner, for one) based solely on the fact that they are democrats. Instead, we elected a very conservative governor who's tight with Sarah Palin...a lieutenant governor who's primarily concerned with making all abortion illegal...and more.
Oh, and we also passed some seriously ridiculous state questions, including one banning the use of Shariah Law and/or all religious and international law (anyone stop to think about some of those little treaties -- you know, like the Geneva Convention?) and one mandating the presentation of official identification at the poll (wait, that happened to me last week anyway). Lawsuits already have been filed regarding the question disavowing the use of Shariah Law. There's no doubt that this new law is unconstitutional and will not hold, but, hey, let's pass it anyway and then spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to fight it in court! It's not like we're not already in the middle of a budget crisis!!!
I'm worried about what's going to happen in the next several years. I'm afraid that the already monsterous gap between the haves and have nots is going to get even more insurmountable. I worry that we're going to continue to try to take away rights through numerous means. I'm concerned that we're going to increase the amount of xenophobia in this state -- and, let me tell you, we don't need any more than we already experience! I'm worried that things are just going to get worse.
I have to wonder how we're going to make it through the next two-four years. The only thing I can hope is that, come next election cycle, people will be unhappy with this new "change" that they voted it -- and that common sense will prevail and we won't become our own worst enemy.
Last Tuesday, my state experienced a major change. (Actually, our entire country experienced a major change, but for the sake of this post, I'm simply thinking about my state's change...and that, honestly, is a whole heck of a lot for me to absorb.) For the first time in state history, the majority of all elected State of Oklahoma offices will be held by republicans, come January. And, to be brutally honest, it scares me.
When I moved to Oklahoma more than five years ago, I was excited to learn that I was moving to a primarily democrat-led state. I soon figured out that Oklahoma democrats basically are just democrats in GOP clothing, but there still were a few true democrats out there...a few like me...a few *true* liberals. While those true liberals are few and far between, it's always made me feel at least a little better.
Two years ago, we, as a nation, elected our first democratic president in eight years -- President Obama. We all knew that he was inheriting a huge mess from the previous eight years, but I believe that most of us had great hope that he could get our nation back on track. Fast forward two years and it seems that almost no one is happy with President Obama. He hasn't accomplished as much as I'd hoped, but realistically, I understand that it took us more than two years to get into this mess, so it's going to take a heck of a lot more than two to get us out.
So, last week, due to massive amounts of unhappiness with our nation's administration, people flocked to the polls. Sadly, this unhappiness manifested itself throughout the entire elections -- both locally, on a state level, and nationally.
In Oklahoma, every single elected political administrative office will now be held by republicans. After January, there will scarcely be a democrat to be found in the state capitol, save the few in the House and Senate who managed to be elected. We ousted some perfectly great democratic administrative officials (insurance commissioner, for one) based solely on the fact that they are democrats. Instead, we elected a very conservative governor who's tight with Sarah Palin...a lieutenant governor who's primarily concerned with making all abortion illegal...and more.
Oh, and we also passed some seriously ridiculous state questions, including one banning the use of Shariah Law and/or all religious and international law (anyone stop to think about some of those little treaties -- you know, like the Geneva Convention?) and one mandating the presentation of official identification at the poll (wait, that happened to me last week anyway). Lawsuits already have been filed regarding the question disavowing the use of Shariah Law. There's no doubt that this new law is unconstitutional and will not hold, but, hey, let's pass it anyway and then spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to fight it in court! It's not like we're not already in the middle of a budget crisis!!!
I'm worried about what's going to happen in the next several years. I'm afraid that the already monsterous gap between the haves and have nots is going to get even more insurmountable. I worry that we're going to continue to try to take away rights through numerous means. I'm concerned that we're going to increase the amount of xenophobia in this state -- and, let me tell you, we don't need any more than we already experience! I'm worried that things are just going to get worse.
I have to wonder how we're going to make it through the next two-four years. The only thing I can hope is that, come next election cycle, people will be unhappy with this new "change" that they voted it -- and that common sense will prevail and we won't become our own worst enemy.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Choosing to be Happy
Contrary to the popular saying, life isn’t always a bowl of cherries…at least my life isn’t! I have awesome days, I have crappy days, and I have days that are just, well, days. I long ago learned that some situations are great and others are not-so-great and, while I can’t necessarily do anything to change my situation every single time I don’t love it, there is something I can control – my own personal happiness.
Sometimes life doesn’t give you exactly what you love – your current job may not be your dream job, you may live in a city that doesn’t really feel like home, or you may want to weigh more, or in my case, a whole lot less. There are things that each of us can do to affect change in these situations – look for a new job, make our house and city an actual ‘home’, or exercise to gain or lose weight…but it’s sometimes hard because these things typically don’t happen overnight. Rather, they take time, dedication, and perseverance. And, of course, there are always things that can’t be changed – someone’s opinion of us, the temperature outside, and the color of the sky. We just have to learn to live with those things.
So, what do I do in the meantime? I try to make the best out of every situation. There’s almost always something positive to be found in every life situation, no matter how dire it may seem. To that end, I CHOOSE to be happy. Sure, I really want to lose weight, but instead of sitting around, whining about being fat, and letting life pass me by, I’m working on it slowly and still enjoying all that life has to offer. Sure, it would be easy to mope and pout because I can’t wear the cute jeans I bought three years ago, but I’d rather enjoy life – albeit in a pair of pants that’s a size larger (and they’re still cute). Life’s way too short to let it pass me by! So, now it’s up to you – are you going to choose to be happy or are you going sit around and let your current situation take away from your potential happiness? I’m choosing happiness.
Sometimes life doesn’t give you exactly what you love – your current job may not be your dream job, you may live in a city that doesn’t really feel like home, or you may want to weigh more, or in my case, a whole lot less. There are things that each of us can do to affect change in these situations – look for a new job, make our house and city an actual ‘home’, or exercise to gain or lose weight…but it’s sometimes hard because these things typically don’t happen overnight. Rather, they take time, dedication, and perseverance. And, of course, there are always things that can’t be changed – someone’s opinion of us, the temperature outside, and the color of the sky. We just have to learn to live with those things.
So, what do I do in the meantime? I try to make the best out of every situation. There’s almost always something positive to be found in every life situation, no matter how dire it may seem. To that end, I CHOOSE to be happy. Sure, I really want to lose weight, but instead of sitting around, whining about being fat, and letting life pass me by, I’m working on it slowly and still enjoying all that life has to offer. Sure, it would be easy to mope and pout because I can’t wear the cute jeans I bought three years ago, but I’d rather enjoy life – albeit in a pair of pants that’s a size larger (and they’re still cute). Life’s way too short to let it pass me by! So, now it’s up to you – are you going to choose to be happy or are you going sit around and let your current situation take away from your potential happiness? I’m choosing happiness.
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