Tonight, at least to me, the world is a little less bright. My Grandpa Abe (Poppy) passed away this afternoon, just barely a month after turning 90. My heart is hurting so much right now and I want nothing more than to have a hug from someone I love. Unfortunately, I'm stuck in Florida on business right now and can't get back to Oklahoma/Kansas until tomorrow around noon.
Pop wasn't in very good health for the past six-12 months. It's been very hard for me to reconcile myself with this fact, but when he suffered his first stroke back in August, I told myself that, while I wouldn't have him here forever, I will always have my memories. And what great memories I have...
The way his bright blue eyes would twinkle when he was teasing me.
Watching and cussing KU basketball and Royals baseball together.
Seeing him be so tickled over sharing his homemade caramel popcorn with Tess.
Him coming by my house to surprise me when I was living in Emporia during college and again when I was living in Hillsboro.
The smell of his stinky old King Edward cigars and his aftershave/cologne.
Knowing that he was proud of me and, no matter how ugly I might feel, that I was beautiful to him.
Drinking wine one spring afternoon with him (and several other family members) in his living room. (He and I were the only ones who liked the wine, so, consequently, we drank most of it.)
Watching his eyes light up when I took him a can of honey-roasted peanuts last time I saw him (he was in the hospital after his first stroke and asked me to bring him "a surprise").
Him wearing and loving his "dude cap" all day last Christmas.
Oh, god, I'm going to miss him...I already do. I hate knowing that I'll never see him again...never hear his loud and sometimes gravelly voice. I'd give anything to have just one last day with him...one last day where he wasn't sick and suffering, when we could just sit in the living room and keep each other company.
I know that there are people who didn't think he was as wonderful as I did...and that makes me sad. They don't know what they were missing.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
A Sad, Mad World
This morning when I was in the shower, I heard news of a death in Nichols Hills. Like many adults these days, I didn't stop to think too much about it, as I've become somewhat inured to the death that often surrounds us. What I heard next, however, stopped me, shocked me, and literally made me sick to my stomach: the deceased person was a little boy, who was not yet ten years old. That along is horrible, but what I heard next made it even worse. The suspect? His very own father.
This little boy's father, who is an OKC physician, is accused of murdering his own son in the middle of the night by stabbing him to death. The boy's mother currently is hospitalized with non-life-threatening defensive stab wounds, that apparently were inflicted upon her while she was trying to protect her son.
Why? There are so many questions out there, but the one that's absolutely foremost in my mind is WHY? Why is this little boy dead tonight, at his very own father's hand? Why?
There are so many things in this world that make little sense. This one makes absolutely no sense.
That poor little boy. His poor mom.
May justice be swift and appropriate.
But until that time, I can only ask...why?
This little boy's father, who is an OKC physician, is accused of murdering his own son in the middle of the night by stabbing him to death. The boy's mother currently is hospitalized with non-life-threatening defensive stab wounds, that apparently were inflicted upon her while she was trying to protect her son.
Why? There are so many questions out there, but the one that's absolutely foremost in my mind is WHY? Why is this little boy dead tonight, at his very own father's hand? Why?
There are so many things in this world that make little sense. This one makes absolutely no sense.
That poor little boy. His poor mom.
May justice be swift and appropriate.
But until that time, I can only ask...why?
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Snap Judgements
For the past couple of days, I've been quietly watching and reading the news coverage of the mass shooting at Fort Hood. To say the least, I am horrified by what happened and feel a deep sense of sympathy for all of those who have been impacted by this senseless tragedy.
When the shooter's name was released, along with his religious preference, I knew that things were about to get interesting, with his Middle Eastern-sounding name and Muslim background. While I knew that some people would be nasty, I never thought imagined that the hate would be spread this far.
Since Friday, I've watched comments be added to online news stories and have listened to people around me, the majority of whom profess to be devout Christians, denigrate all Muslims. Comments such as, "The world would be a better place if we just took care of the Muslims by wiping that religion off of the face of this planet", completely and utterly blow my mind.
What little I know about Islam includes the thought that it is, for the most part, a peaceful religion. Yes, there are members out there who are fanatics and believe that senseless killings are necessary, but the religion, as an entirety, does not support radical violence.
So, who are some of the people making these horrific blanket statements? Many of them are self-professed Christians. I grew up in a Christian home and was taught to love my neighbor and to not judge. Apparently, these Christians choose to ignore those tenets of the religion.
This just makes me sad. I don't understand why people have to make such blanket statements and rush judgments about a person based upon his or her religion. For that matter, why is it that we have to think that one religion is better than another? Wouldn't the world be a better place if we all agreed to just respect one another and our beliefs, no matter what they might be?
The bottom line is this: more than a dozen people lost their lives in Texas one day last week. Instead of judging the accused shooter based upon his religion, why don't we, as a nation, spend our time and energy helping those who lost loved ones grieve and heal? I think it'd be a better use of time.
When the shooter's name was released, along with his religious preference, I knew that things were about to get interesting, with his Middle Eastern-sounding name and Muslim background. While I knew that some people would be nasty, I never thought imagined that the hate would be spread this far.
Since Friday, I've watched comments be added to online news stories and have listened to people around me, the majority of whom profess to be devout Christians, denigrate all Muslims. Comments such as, "The world would be a better place if we just took care of the Muslims by wiping that religion off of the face of this planet", completely and utterly blow my mind.
What little I know about Islam includes the thought that it is, for the most part, a peaceful religion. Yes, there are members out there who are fanatics and believe that senseless killings are necessary, but the religion, as an entirety, does not support radical violence.
So, who are some of the people making these horrific blanket statements? Many of them are self-professed Christians. I grew up in a Christian home and was taught to love my neighbor and to not judge. Apparently, these Christians choose to ignore those tenets of the religion.
This just makes me sad. I don't understand why people have to make such blanket statements and rush judgments about a person based upon his or her religion. For that matter, why is it that we have to think that one religion is better than another? Wouldn't the world be a better place if we all agreed to just respect one another and our beliefs, no matter what they might be?
The bottom line is this: more than a dozen people lost their lives in Texas one day last week. Instead of judging the accused shooter based upon his religion, why don't we, as a nation, spend our time and energy helping those who lost loved ones grieve and heal? I think it'd be a better use of time.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Such Sadness
Earlier today, an Army psychiatrist went on a shooting rampage and killed 12 people at Fort Hood in Texas, wounding at least 30 others in his crossfire. Then, a few minutes ago, I received a message telling me that one of my former students committed suicide earlier today.
All I can ask, in the case of both of these incidents, is why? Why? Why did this soldier find it necessary to kill so many innocent people? Why did this young woman decide to take her own life? Why? I just can't understand any of this. I always struggle with the senselessness of murder and suicide, but in these two cases, I'm struggling more than in times before.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that mental illness was at play in both cases. It's not a big secret that I fight slight depression and that several people close to me also fight mental illness, including depression and bipolar disorder. Knowing what I know about these diseases (and, yes, they are diseases, just like any other illness), I still find it hard to comprehend how things could be so hopeless in your life -- so hopeless that you're driven to kill others, or just as sadly, yourself.
I'm really bothered by these senseless deaths tonight. My heart is sad and I wish that I could help make things better for people, but I just don't know how.
I sometimes wonder if things like this could be prevented if some of the stigma surrounding mental illness were removed. We don't judge people who have pneumonia, so why do we judge those who are mentally ill?
I want to see the day when we, as a society, quit associating mental illness with something horrific, contagious, and denigrating, and instead, much like we do with phsycial illnesses, we recognize mental illness and encourage treatment. Perhaps then things like this will no longer happen and there won't have to be so many sad hearts in the world.
All I can ask, in the case of both of these incidents, is why? Why? Why did this soldier find it necessary to kill so many innocent people? Why did this young woman decide to take her own life? Why? I just can't understand any of this. I always struggle with the senselessness of murder and suicide, but in these two cases, I'm struggling more than in times before.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that mental illness was at play in both cases. It's not a big secret that I fight slight depression and that several people close to me also fight mental illness, including depression and bipolar disorder. Knowing what I know about these diseases (and, yes, they are diseases, just like any other illness), I still find it hard to comprehend how things could be so hopeless in your life -- so hopeless that you're driven to kill others, or just as sadly, yourself.
I'm really bothered by these senseless deaths tonight. My heart is sad and I wish that I could help make things better for people, but I just don't know how.
I sometimes wonder if things like this could be prevented if some of the stigma surrounding mental illness were removed. We don't judge people who have pneumonia, so why do we judge those who are mentally ill?
I want to see the day when we, as a society, quit associating mental illness with something horrific, contagious, and denigrating, and instead, much like we do with phsycial illnesses, we recognize mental illness and encourage treatment. Perhaps then things like this will no longer happen and there won't have to be so many sad hearts in the world.
Sexy...Car Parts?
One evening earlier this week, I was heading up to Edmond for the night after work. I'd heard there were some accidents slowing traffic on the interstates, so I decided to take a different route. I'd never before taken Sooner Road all of the way north and connected with I-35, but I decided to try that route, figuring I might see some interesting things along the way. Boy, was I right!
I drove north to NE 24th Street, up Midwest Boulevard, and then took NE 24th west to Sooner Road. I knew that I'd drive through some relatively hoodish areas, but didn't worry about it because it wasn't yet dark. I just thought of it as an adventure!
As I was driving west, just ahead of me, I saw a purple and white striped metal building. I was a little puzzled because the area seemed pretty industrialized and I wasn't sure what the building might be. I drew closer and, as soon as I saw the building's sign, I about wrecked my car because I was laughing so hard. There, right in the middle of the hood, stood the battered purple and white building housing...wait for it...Fantasy Muffler! Hmmmm...car parts...every woman's fantasy! All I can do is wonder what's next -- Erotic Exhaust?
I drove north to NE 24th Street, up Midwest Boulevard, and then took NE 24th west to Sooner Road. I knew that I'd drive through some relatively hoodish areas, but didn't worry about it because it wasn't yet dark. I just thought of it as an adventure!
As I was driving west, just ahead of me, I saw a purple and white striped metal building. I was a little puzzled because the area seemed pretty industrialized and I wasn't sure what the building might be. I drew closer and, as soon as I saw the building's sign, I about wrecked my car because I was laughing so hard. There, right in the middle of the hood, stood the battered purple and white building housing...wait for it...Fantasy Muffler! Hmmmm...car parts...every woman's fantasy! All I can do is wonder what's next -- Erotic Exhaust?
Tess, the Trash-Eating Dog
I've had Tess, my little mixed terrier dog, for nearly nine years. If you've met her, you know that she's a pretty well behaved little dog and, while she sometimes might be a bit sassy, she rarely does some of the evil things that I hear about other dogs doing. Sure, she's done the rare rotten thing, like getting in the trash, but we've never really had a problem...until last week.
Early last week, as best as I can guess, Tess was mad at me about something and decided to retaliate by getting into the bathroom trash. She didn't just drag trash throughout the house, but instead decided to eat a lot of things that no animal should ever eat.
I was a little pissed, especially when I realized she'd vomited on my area rug, but didn't really worry, until I came home Friday and found that, over the past day and a half, she'd vomited at least 12 times. So, I called the vet and made a flying trip out to El Reno. They hospitalized her for some tests and soon determined that she needed emergency surgery to clear an intestinal obstruction.
Luckily, she came through the surgery with flying colors and, in fact, didn't even have to have her intestines or her stomach cut -- they were able to manually work the blockage out the back end. She was hospitalized until Monday evening, at which point I finally was able to bring her home. Now, nearly a week later, she's faring relatively well and, while still very obviously sore, wants to play and be her normal self. I'm so happy and thankful!
I can't even begin to explain the emotions I experienced when I learned she needed surgery. I was terrified and felt horribly guilty. Luckily, everything turned out just fine.
So, what's the lesson in all of this? Even if your dog has only gotten into the trash a time or two in his or her life, make sure that the trash is inaccessible to ALL pets. Tess never has been the type to pull stunts like this and I seriously doubt that she will repeat this performance, but I've moved my trash and removed any temptation from her little paws. I'm not taking any chances, because, had I not kept an eye on her and taken her to the vet when I did, I could have, very easily, lost my little dog.
Early last week, as best as I can guess, Tess was mad at me about something and decided to retaliate by getting into the bathroom trash. She didn't just drag trash throughout the house, but instead decided to eat a lot of things that no animal should ever eat.
I was a little pissed, especially when I realized she'd vomited on my area rug, but didn't really worry, until I came home Friday and found that, over the past day and a half, she'd vomited at least 12 times. So, I called the vet and made a flying trip out to El Reno. They hospitalized her for some tests and soon determined that she needed emergency surgery to clear an intestinal obstruction.
Luckily, she came through the surgery with flying colors and, in fact, didn't even have to have her intestines or her stomach cut -- they were able to manually work the blockage out the back end. She was hospitalized until Monday evening, at which point I finally was able to bring her home. Now, nearly a week later, she's faring relatively well and, while still very obviously sore, wants to play and be her normal self. I'm so happy and thankful!
I can't even begin to explain the emotions I experienced when I learned she needed surgery. I was terrified and felt horribly guilty. Luckily, everything turned out just fine.
So, what's the lesson in all of this? Even if your dog has only gotten into the trash a time or two in his or her life, make sure that the trash is inaccessible to ALL pets. Tess never has been the type to pull stunts like this and I seriously doubt that she will repeat this performance, but I've moved my trash and removed any temptation from her little paws. I'm not taking any chances, because, had I not kept an eye on her and taken her to the vet when I did, I could have, very easily, lost my little dog.
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