You Suck at Life!

This afternoon, as we drove home from running a few errands, my phone rang. The number was blocked. I refuse to answer blocked numbers, so I ignored it. It rang again, almost immediately. Again, blocked. Again, ignored. A few minutes later, I received a text from my father, followed up immediately by a phone call from him. I regret answering. Turns out, the first two calls were also from him. Damn him for calling me from his cell! So, why did he call? In a nutshell, it was to yell at me for not calling to tell him that my oldest nephew broke his hip several weeks ago. My response? Not my child, so not my business to call and inform him. I also informed him that I might have been inclined to call him, if he could ever be bothered to return texts from me, return my phone calls, or even just simply call me to say hi. Giant can of worms? Yeah...I opened it. See, over Christmas, I reluctantly agreed to meet him in a neutral place to pick up obligatory Christmas gifts. He pulled up, hopped out of his brand new Cadillac, and proceeded to rip into me for refusing to come to his house. This, of course, was right after he made fun of my brand new Kia. There we were, standing in a public parking lot, with people all around, while he yelled at me. Yeah, merry Christmas to me! Anyway, later that night, I was shocked to receive a texted apology from him, with a request to try to start improving our relationship. I agreed. Since that time, I've texted him no fewer than ten times. Since that time, he's responded exactly zero times. I've left voicemail messages for him, both on his cell and at his house. Yep, you guessed it - he's ignored each and every one. I brought this up to him during our call tonight. He informed me that I must just not know how to send texts or leave voicemail messages. Um, have you met me? I send THOUSANDS of texts each month! I told him it sounded like they were being deleted, if he really wasn't getting them. He told me that's impossible. Um, okay. This, of course, is also compounded by the fact that his wife is running for some local office and they're running an ad that talks about how much they enjoy spending time with their family, especially their nieces and nephews, on their ranch. No mention ANYWHERE of children and grandchildren! I confronted him about it today. Should I have? Probably not, but he put me in a pisser of a mood, so he had it coming. His response? If we ever came to see him, he'd acknowledge us. My response? If you could ever be bothered to acknowledge me, call me, or text me, perhaps I'd be inclined to come see him. It all ended with him yelling at me and hanging up on me. Now, I feel like total crap. I really thought I'd suppressed his ability to negatively impact me. He's a jerk and has always been a jerk. He's always played favorites and I never have been the favorite. He's always treated me like a second class citizen. I need to get over it. I thought I did, after he informed me he was embarrassed to be seen with me in public because I'm so fat. Apparently not. I've just got to remember that he completely sucks at life. I've got so many great people in my life that I truly need to boot him out. I'm not about to let him drag me down to his level. I refuse to suck at life. He can continue on without me.

Shredding the Fat

Several months ago, Jason and I both decided it was time to shred the fat and embarked on weight loss our own oh-so-fun weight loss journies. We're each doing it our own way, but the important thing is that we're doing it. Well, a couple of weeks ago, I learned that OKC is having a city-wide weight loss challenge, so I (and Jase!) have entered...and I'm going to win!

The winner gets, among other things, a brand, spanking new car. And, let's face it, I really need a new car and I really don't need a car payment right now. So, hello, extra motivation! Basically, they figure the winner based on the person who loses the largest percentage of weight over a period of 12 weeks.

Word on the street is that last year's winner lost around 40 pounds, which was about 20% of his body weight. So, the way I have this figured, my goal is to lose five-six pounds to week for 12 (well, technically now 11) weeks. That'll put me well ahead of where last year's winner ended, which should, I hope, put me in serious contention to win this thing.

Impossible? Nope. At least, I don't think it will be. Difficult? Oh, hell yes. According to some people, I'm destined to fail at my goal of five-six pounds per week. Obviously they don't know me and don't know what happens when I set my mind to something. Sure, I've said I'd lose weight before, but this time...this time it's different. I can't explain why, but this time, I'm serious and motivated and ready to do this. This time, I'm mentally ready to do this for me. And when I set my mind to something? Typically, I accomplish it.

To any non-believers out there, I have this to say: Week One is done. Results? Six pounds burned. Gone. Adios. Sayonara. I busted my butt to do it and my body and muscles still are aching, but six pounds are gone. And, you know what? Even though I hurt like hell, I feel better. I took today off as my first day of rest - and I've enjoyed it, but I feel a little guilty about not working out. I haven't decided if tomorrow is a day of rest, or if I'm hitting it again in the morning. Guess we'll wait and see.

And, let's face it...even if I don't win (and, even if I meet my goal, there's a chance I won't win the big prize), I ultimately win anyway, because this truly is all about me getting healthy. And staying healthy. The car's just a little extra incentive. But I really want to win. Really.

Bully

Back in November, I was assigned to write a new anti-bullying curriculum for work. Since that time, I've spent countless hours researching bullying, reviewing anti-bullying laws, and reading stories of people who've been bullied.

It's been a month or so since I came across the trailer for a movie entitled, simply, "Bully". As I watched the trailer, my heart began to ache from the horrific pain displayed in this documentary - and I knew I had to see it as soon as it arrived in OKC. I saw it today.

"Bully" follows the lives of several children from around the US who are bullied in a variety of ways - one of them is from Tuttle, Oklahoma. The movie also follows two families whose sons have committed suicide as a result of the bullying they faced each and every day. One of these families also is from Oklahoma.

As I sit here and type this blog entry, I re-read it and realize my thoughts sound kind of disjointed. I honestly believe that's because I'm still reeling from the movie. I thought I had an idea of what to expect, but I never believed it truly would be so...powerful. I honestly believe this movie has the ability to change lives. To change the way we view bullying. To change our thoughts. To change our actions.

It's deep. It's dark. It's depressing. And I think that EVERYONE needs to see it. Today. Because it makes you stop. Think. Re-examine your beliefs.

Bullying happens today. Bullying has always happened, but for some reason, it seems to be getting more fierce and violent today. We've got to stop it. Now.

It's not child's play. Need another real life example? My oldest nephew endures bullying because he's mixed race. This bullying has now become physical. Law enforcement has had to get involved. Guess what? That's no longer bullying. It's assault. It's violent. It's cruel. It's unacceptable.

Watch the trailer: http://thebullyproject.com/indexflash.html#/video

Talk to the children in your life.

Take a stand.

Make a difference.

Stop bullying.

I'm Tired...

I’m tired of the hate. I’m tired of the judgment. I’m tired of the bigotry.

From the time my sister and I were very small children, our mom taught us that all people are equal and all people deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Yes, we grew up in rural Kansas, attended a Christian church, and went to school in a predominantly Caucasian community. No, we did not grow up with great wealth and affluence. We just had a normal childhood – and were raised by a fantastic, progressive mother.

I wasn’t raised to hate, so I can’t understand why there’s so much hate, judgment, bigotry, and intolerance in the world. It comes from all corners, too. Some religions don’t like other religions and choose to judge. Some races don’t like other races. Some heterosexuals condemn homosexuals. And what really kills me is that many of these people choose to hate and judge in the name of their religion – even though their very religion says they’re not to judge.

To me, the bottom line is that people are people. No one should be judged based on his or her appearance, lifestyle, religion, or anything else, until he or she has had a chance to prove/disprove himself or herself.

Do I like everyone in the entire world? No. But I’d like to think that I don’t pre-judge people based upon their characteristics. Typically, if I don’t like someone, it’s because he or she and I don’t see eye to eye, he or she is unkind or a bad person, or he or she is judgmental – and I always try to give everyone a chance first. Am I perfect? ABSOLUTELY NOT! If I said I was, you could readily call me a liar – and I hope you would.

I wish people could open their eyes and see that the color of a person’s skin is not a good indicator of his or her internal person; a person’s religion does not make him or her a good or bad person; a person’s sexual orientation doesn’t make someone right or wrong.

I’m just tired of the hate.

Oops!

Apparently, I've kind of abandoned my blog. It was completely accidental, so I'm staging a comeback. Well, I don't really know if it can be called a comeback, since I truly never left, but you get the drift.

A Powerful Weapon

Knives. Guns. Baseball bats. Clubs. Nunchaku. Swords. All are weapons and all, when used in the right manner, can be deadly, or, at the very minimum, extremely harmful.

But when I think about it, the most powerful weapon of all isn't an actual weapon and it can't physically kill or harm anyone. On the surface, it doesn't seem that powerful, but that's a deceptive facade, as it's actually incredibly powerful and damaging.

What is this weapon? Words.

Be careful with your words, for sometimes, even when they're said in an off-hand or joking manner, they may wound more deeply than you realize. And, much like the gun that's been fired or the club that's been swung, they can't be taken back. Yes, you can explain or even apologize, but the hurt's still there. And you know what? It doesn't always go away easily.

Crazy, Glittery, Trashy Vegas!

For the past three years, I’ve spent five days each summer in Las Vegas for work. I’ve never taken anyone with me, other than my coworkers. This year, though, I called my mom and invited her to join me; I’ve ALWAYS wanted to hang out with Mom in Vegas and this year, we made it happen.

Instead of flying in while I was busy with work, Mom elected to fly in on the last day of our tradeshow and we stayed an additional three nights. The beginning of our insanely fun girl weekend was fraught with complications, including no A/C in the airport, a super late flight, a lost cell phone, a hotel that forgot to hold our room, and an initial replacement room that looked like something from a horror movie, but we got the crap out of the way early on in the trip.

Sadly, even though we both took our cameras to Vegas and both have cameras on our phones, we neither one took a single picture. That’s a huge fail on our part, as documenting those memories would have been a fabulous idea.

We definitely made the most of our four days. We gambled up and down the Strip, visited Fremont twice, had fantastic balloon hats made at Margaritaville, spent way too much money in The Mirage at The Beatles stores, and slept very little. Oh, and we crammed in a bachelorette party and a wedding for one of my best friends, too.

I came home broke, but totally happy. I may not have won in the casino, but I definitely won in the mom department!

It seems like everyone these days talks about having a bucket list – you know, a list of things they want to do before they kick the proverbial bucket. I’ve never assembled a formal bucket list. Instead, I just know there are lots of things I want to do while I’ve still got time. I’ve done some of them, but nowhere nearly all; some have been amazing experiences and others haven’t been as fun. But this one? This one was a biggie. As I said, I’ve always wanted to do Vegas with my mom and it was more fun than I ever dreamed! And, yes, we’re already starting to plan our next trip. I can’t wait!